Tag Archives: random thoughts

Emma

They say you look like me,

but when I look at you I don’t see me – other than in the shape of your eyes

but even the color is usually green  – a color that has never been in my eyes.

I look at you and I see so much beauty,

such strength, confidence, wisdom and knowledge

in you I see hope and curiosity and endless possibility,

things I don’t recall ever having myself.

I look at you and I see fearlessness,

stubbornness, a willingness to look at the world as half-full.

I see so many things I hope you hold onto,

so many attributes I hope I am able to help you nurture

numerous qualities that I hope burn stronger with time

and are not quenched or broken by others’ negativity.

I look at you and it raises the question of nature vs. nurture,

yes, my being your mother has likely influenced you in some way

but so much of you seems so innate –

it seems you could have been raised by the Amish or by wolves,

and you would still be amazing, silly, resilient, stubborn, optimistic Emma.

 

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Confessions

I am busy. I work two jobs, raising two daughters, on a committee that meets monthly, sometimes have kids’ sports or other commitments. I may not like it, but my life requires planning. If it isn’t in my Google calendar and has a reminder set, it isn’t going to happen. I don’t see people I deeply care about nearly as much as I would like, I don’t have time for pedicures and manicures, one of my best friends lives 5 minutes from me and its been months since we’ve spent time together. Where am I going with all this? If you say “Let’s hang out” or “we should hang out sometime” that isn’t really going to get you far. And then when I even specifically say “Ok, when? where?” and you don’t respond, don’t turn around and accuse me of blowing you off! If I am someone you really want to get to know better or already know and want to spend more time with, I am sorry, but it’s going to require more effort than a casual and open-ended “we should chill sometime.”  You brought it up – plan something. Pick a place, date, time and if I’m free it will happen.  There isn’t a place on my schedule for “someday, somewhere, sometime.” Continue reading Confessions