Tag Archives: racism

Speechless

I want to wrap my arms around you

I want to give comfort and hope

I typically use words to inspire and console

to uplift and show unity,

today my words are failing me

Behind tears and anger

I’m grasping for what to say.

But….I know there are no words to fix this:

“be safe” – that isn’t always in your control

“it will all be ok” no, no it won’t

“things will get better”  how? when?

“I understand” I couldn’t even begin to.

I mourn with you, I cry with you,

I scream in outrage with you,

I shake my head in disbelief

I fear for those I love with more melanin than I,

but I cannot truly understand,

I can never know what it is like to live in that beautiful skin

and have it used as an excuse for others to fear and kill you.

I can never know what it is like to not have the option to shut it off

to crawl into bed and not think about it

My words, my tears, my outrage are all worthless

until we, white people, learn to listen more than we speak

until we collectively figure out what to do to change this corrupt and oppressive system.

 

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Confessions

I am busy. I work two jobs, raising two daughters, on a committee that meets monthly, sometimes have kids’ sports or other commitments. I may not like it, but my life requires planning. If it isn’t in my Google calendar and has a reminder set, it isn’t going to happen. I don’t see people I deeply care about nearly as much as I would like, I don’t have time for pedicures and manicures, one of my best friends lives 5 minutes from me and its been months since we’ve spent time together. Where am I going with all this? If you say “Let’s hang out” or “we should hang out sometime” that isn’t really going to get you far. And then when I even specifically say “Ok, when? where?” and you don’t respond, don’t turn around and accuse me of blowing you off! If I am someone you really want to get to know better or already know and want to spend more time with, I am sorry, but it’s going to require more effort than a casual and open-ended “we should chill sometime.”  You brought it up – plan something. Pick a place, date, time and if I’m free it will happen.  There isn’t a place on my schedule for “someday, somewhere, sometime.” Continue reading Confessions