Tag Archives: Parenting

Learning to Make Decisions

Ok, so I have never claimed to be a perfect mother or a child-rearing expert, but I am a mom and so I’d like to write about something that I think is important. Allowing our children to make their own decisions.

Recently, my daughters got a letter in the mail for the 2014 Miss Teen Minneapolis Pageant. They both decided to go to the information session/interview at the Radisson Hotel downtown. They dressed professionally, did their hair, and were excited and nervous. The woman who was speaking rubbed me the wrong way a little bit, but I brushed if off. The girls both decided that they wanted to do the pageant, we looked at fancy dresses, they fretted over whether or not they’d “get in” as the lady at the event said not everyone would. They started making a list of all the people and local businesses they could ask to sponsor them, as they’d have to get $495 a piece in sponsorships to get in.

Being the person I am though, this all just seemed to be happening so fast and I wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting them into – so I started digging around on the internet. There were HORRIBLE reviews! I guess the company that runs the pageant has changed the name of the pageants constantly in order to avoid the bad reputation that would follow, there were stories of pageants being more like cattle calls, ill qualified judges, judges who said they’d never judge another one of these pageants ever again as they were told how to score and treated rudely, people in the pageant industry who said this is a very poorly run pageant, etc. Some of the ones claiming it was a scam for requiring $495 in sponsorships, I found just didn’t know pageants as every other pageant I looked at requires some sort of sponsorship as well. I also looked at the Better Business Bureau website and the company who runs the pageants has a B rating. Not horrible, but at the same time, it was hard to even track down the name of the company that runs them so maybe some people don’t know in order to file complaints?

I shared some of my misgivings with my mother who immediately said “don’t walk away, RUN!” Continue reading Learning to Make Decisions

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Protected: My Life in Parts – Part I

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I’m a Mom and a…????

I shared some of these thoughts with a friend earlier and thought I would turn it into a blog post.  I am afraid that I may have allowed myself to become TOO defined by motherhood.  I am reading this book on my Kindle: The Rules to Raise Happy, Healthy Children and realized I’m kind of breaking Rule 10 which pretty much says to make sure you keep nurturing the things that make you a person/have nothing to do with parenting. This is good for the kids because the pressure to perform can become overwhelming  if they realize that your personal success is entirely dependent on how they turn out! The book gives examples such as having a career your passionate about (not AT ALL), taking a vacation once a year without your kids (I have NEVER been on a kidless vacation), or doing some other hobby regularly.  It says “otherwise, when the kids finally leave home after 18 years, you won’t know what to do with yourself.”  That last part is SO TRUE!!! My kids have been going away to camp every summer for the past 3 years for 2 weeks at a time, and I don’t know what to do with myself while they’re gone! This  last year I actually got pretty depressed while they were away and found myself just wanting to sleep, like if I just slept the time they were gone would go by more quickly?!?!  Sure, I am involved a little bit with politics, but even that has dwindled lately as I find myself feeling more and more guilty every time I go do something without them now that they are no longer spending weekends with their dad. When they were it was a little bit easier, I had a life and let my hair down pretty much every-other weekend while they were away.

I think the problem has multiple things feeding into it.

  #1 Mother’s Guilt; Continue reading I’m a Mom and a…????

My Babies

My babies, my sweet little girls, my everythings

no longer tiny or completely dependent,

you do not fit in the cradle of my arm

and it’s been an eternity since I could carry you around.

But I can still wrap my arms around you

and as I’m comforting you, it comforts me,

every time you call me mom or mommy my heart leaps.

Continue reading My Babies