I’ve never thoroughly understood cheating. I have NEVER, EVER cheated. EVER. I just don’t get it. Even when my ex-husband and I split I never so much as went on a date or kissed another guy until after our divorce was finalized (which took almost a year), but that might be a bit extreme for some people. Not that I am at all claiming to be perfect and flawless in my own personal relationships, I have been with men who were not completely single (seperated but not yet divorced, in an ‘its complicated’ type relationship, etc.) and have immaturely justified it as “I’m not the one breaking any promises!”
I get that the idea of being with the same person for like 500 years is not appealing to some people, and maybe not a completely practical expectation in today’s society. But, that means you have to cheat? Be sneaky? Live a double life? Why can’t you just be HONEST? Obvious to some, but I just had an epiphany – cheating seems to be a sign of weakness! Too weak to just open your mouth and say – This isn’t working for me. Why is admitting that so scary? Why is it better to pretend, lie, deceive and risk hurting another person or people? Just open your mouth and say This isn’t working for me and then either work with your partner on making it work, or move on! Yes, I know the moving on one can get complicated by children and marriage. But, if those things are involved, if you’ve made promises and vows – STOP breaking them and work on the relationship you’ve made a commitment to!
I do believe there are different levels of cheating. Is cheating on somebody you’re just dating as bad as cheating on somebody you are married to and have children with? In my eyes – no. BUT – that is even more reason why you shouldn’t be cheating in the first place and should just be honest! A dating situation is EASY to get out of, no matter how many lame excuses you come up with for why its not – that’s just you being a passive-agressive chicken shit! If you are already unhappy and unsatisfied and you’re not even sharing an underwear drawer or banking account – what are you doing??? I also can kinda, sorta understand the one drunken night cheat a lot more than the affair. The first one can be a lapse in judgment and a total lack of self-control, but I do think couples can get past it. An affair, however, is not an accident. An affair is not a mistake. An affair is a concerted effort to go out of your way to have an intimate – either emotionally, physically or both – relationship with another person besides the person you are committed to. If there was a ladder of worst – having a long-term affair while married would be on the very top rung for me! Continue reading Keep it HONEST Fellas! (and ladies)