Tag Archives: dreams


New dreams need to be created

when the old ones only create pain

unrealized, they fester in my soul,

a black cloud covering my light.

Continue reading Healing



I dream while my eyes are wide open
open to my mundane surroundings
yet the whole time a magical world full of life is swirling through my head.
Alone, lonely, yet I can feel the realness of his imaginary touch on my skin,
can conjure an image in my head so real that my heart rate increases.
Cold, shivering, sloppy, mucky streets
but the warmth of the places inside my never-ending dream almost washes it away.
Just sitting at work, typing, reading, researching,
yet my mind is hiking in the rain-forests of Costa Rica
perusing a marketplace in Casablanca,
or making love on a remote and tropical island.

I hear these voices go on and on in a monotonous tone speaking legal lingo,
I’m trying to listen but all I can hear is the hustle and bustle,
the call of the wild,
the ships, planes, trains, sounds of all the places in my head.
I haven’t been to any of these places yet,
my real life is mediocre,
there isn’t anyone nibbling on my ear while I’m watching the sunset –
nobody whisking me off to Paris for a holiday weekend,
I’ve never stayed in a hostel or ridden a bus also carrying chickens.
A round-the-world trip that never ends
sounds like magic to me,
not clocking in every day, not spending most of my waking hours apart from my kids.
Learning to order food in another language,
having to figure out how to exchange money, get a visa,
extend my stay, mapping out how to get to the next destination.

Do most people live this much inside their heads?
Are most people this thirsty for the world,
for adventure, for other places and cultures –
do most people have a never-ending daydream?
Will I ever be content with the day-to-day reality that is my life
if not – how do I get out of it?
There are those roaming the world, free,
were they born with money in their pockets to burn?
Do they have no fear? Is there someone to pick them up if they fall on their faces?

Maybe when the kids are grown up…
Maybe if I win the lottery someday…
Maybe if I meet someone who can help me travel…
Maybe if I happen to get lucky and land some sort of cool job that pays me to travel….

My Bucket List


  1. Raise healthy/well rounded kids (working on it!)
  2. Go kayaking/camping by myself
  3. Finish my Bachelor’s Degree
  4. Go Skydiving with Emma on her 18th birthday
  5. Take a hot-air balloon ride
  6. Parasailing
  7. Scuba diving
  8. Swim with dolphins
  9. Go on a cruise
  10. Go Whale watching
  11. Visit all 50 states (been to 36 plus D.C. – yes, airports count – but that was only two of them so I guess 34 if you don’t count em! Not counting when I was a baby  though since I don’t remember)
  12. Week long backpacking trip with the kids (did 3 days)
  13. Disney World
  14. All 72 State Parks
  15. At least 5 National Parks
  16. Visit 5 out of 7 continents (not Antarctica or Australia)
  17. Move to someplace outside of Minnesota
  18. See a Broadway Play
  19. Write my life-story, even if I never publish it
  20. Do something I enjoy for money in my later years, rather than working a 9 – 5 job just to pay the bills
  21. Go to a horse race
  22. Take a trip via train
  23. Take a tour of the White House
  24. Go grape stomping
  25. Take skiing/snowboarding lessons
  26. Go Whitewater rafting
  27. Hold a snake
  28. Go on the Power Tower or some other ride I’ve been too scared of
  29. Stay in a cabin for a whole weekend during the winter
  30. Learn a foreign language enough to make small talk at least
  31. Watch my grand kids graduate/get married
  32. Drive a motorcycle
  33. Run for public office – school board, city council, something local
  34. Attend at least one party where I get to wear a  gown
  35. Stay at a ranch and learn how to ride a horse
  36. Try sauerkraut
  37. Take the girls tubing behind a boat
  38. Learn how to belly dance or something sexy to boost confidence
  39. Get Lasik
  40. Go to a Theater/Dinner show
  41. Fly in a helicopter
  42. Share a poem/spoken word piece at an Open Mic
  43. Take a specialty cooking class
  44. Go to a rodeo

I should do as some other bloggers I’ve seen do too – and make a “Reverse Bucket List” – I think it would be cool to take stock in some of the amazing experiences I have already had!