Category Archives: Thinking Outloud

A Content Life

Wasn’t happy
Haven’t been happy in quite some time,
Content, I was content
Had come to terms with a life of solitude.

Continue reading A Content Life

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Alone and Lonely

I miss having a go-to person, a sounding board,
a confidant, someone to share my day with;
the big things and the minutiae.

I miss having someone who cares to hear it all,
who responds with advice or just a word of encouragement
who reciprocates and shares their day with me;
their hopes, their dreams, their struggles and frustrations.

I miss saying I love you, hearing I love you
snuggling up next to someone and feeling their warmth
feeling their heart beat;
feeling so completely comfortable in another’s presence.

I miss talking. Just talking about anything and everything
life, politics, future trips, raising kids, music, race,
good reads, life fears, the magic stuff, the scary stuff, the sweet stuff;
I miss having good conversation on a regular basis.

“Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely”

But I am.

I.

Am.

Lonely…

The American Dream

Florescent light
keyboard tapping
HVAC whirring
gray, fabric walls,
square tile ceiling,
people barely breathing.

Overpriced office chair
cafeteria food
dirty workrooms
slow elevators
landline phones.

Lucky to have steady income
lucky to have a job
lucky you can work
lucky you have benefits
lucky you get paid vacation and sick time

I Don’t Want To Give of Myself

just had another revelation! I have been on numerous dates since my last relationship ended 5 years ago, and I’ve analyzed myself, my dates, the dating pool, etc. trying to decipher a reason why I hadn’t met anyone who I wanted more with and who wanted more with me. Why there hadn’t been any sparks flying or, more accurately, why I haven’t met anyone I am compatible with or can see myself having a relationship with. Continue reading I Don’t Want To Give of Myself