Category Archives: the future

Letting Go in 2019

This is the last year of my 30s – it is time to both let go and to grow

Time to let go of all the fantasies, the what-ifs, the if-onlys, the lingering loyalties, the resentments, the lost loves, lost friendships.

Time to let go of heartache, pain, hatred, self-doubt, self-hate, and self-sabotage.

Time to grow into the woman I am and let go of the woman I thought I’d be, time to grow internally and let go of the things I thought I needed externally to make me happy, time to grow professionally – whatever that may mean, time to let go of the way I thought life should be and grow into accepting the way life is, learning to adapt to reality, to control the things I can and let go of the things I cannot.

Time to show myself more self-care, time to stop wasting energy on those who don’t put any energy into me, time to regain myself, my womanhood, to fall in love with myself and let go, as impossible as it may seem at times, of those who do not reciprocate my love.

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Life’s Regrets, So Far

As I’m preparing for the “next chapter” of my life and also trying to come to a place of inner peace with where I’m at versus where I wanted to be at by this point in my life, I am taking inventory of some of my biggest regrets in life so far.  Hopefully taking stock of these regrets, as sad as it is to know that I cannot undo the things that have led me here, will remind me to live a more authentic life in the future. Continue reading Life’s Regrets, So Far

Whiteness Is a Disease

It might be hard to think of what to identify as if not white, but I’ve never really felt connected to that identity anyways, I’m just American (and Minnesotan, and a Midwesterner)

Bitter Gertrude

I’ve been sitting on this essay for months, because I’m a coward. I’ve been through so many attacks this year for writing about race and for writing about the Democratic primary that I was afraid to post this, despite how deeply I believe in it. And then the events of the past few days– the extrajudicial executions of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile– happened and I could no longer live with my cowardice. Our Black brothers and sisters are taking their lives in their hands every time they leave their houses, and I’m afraid to post *an article* because I’ll be sent more attacks and threats. I was ashamed by my desire to protect myself with privilege and silence. So here is my essay.

Whiteness.Jessica.Rath “Whiteness” by Jessica Rath

We use the phrases “white people,” “white America,” and the like all the time. I say that I’m “white.” I experience “white” privilege…

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My Life List

This is a list of all of the things that I hope to accomplish in life going forward. At 36 years of age I have already had some spectacular experiences, and I have already been lucky enough to be the mother of two amazing young ladies. As they are a few years from embarking on their own journeys in the world, it is time for me to think of life after motherhood and to no longer make excuses or allow anything to hold me back from taking risks and going after things that are important to me.  This list does not include overarching things such as “be a good mom” or “be a generous person” as those are things I strive for every day and can’t check-off a list when done. 

  1. Finish my Bachelor’s Degree
  2. Make a big career change
  3. Visit every MN State Park (35 out of 72 done) Continue reading My Life List