Category Archives: My Past

Why I Didn’t Report (trigger warning)

These past few weeks have been hard for a lot of survivors of sexual assault. I’m one of those but have been reluctant to be as open about my stories as other people have. Our stories often define us in ways we don’t know or ways we don’t want to admit. For me it has led to years of not owning my own sexuality, not being confident, and being retraumatized in many ways due to too often being scared to say no, or saying no initially, but being talked into or coerced into saying yes, leading to lots of post-sex regrets. There are experiences where the line is murky, so I’m only listing times where the line is very clear. Here are the times I was sexually assaulted and #WhyIDidntReport Continue reading Why I Didn’t Report (trigger warning)
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Poems I wrote as a teen more about Social issues….

Death after death
Life after life
Taken, stolen, ruined
Masked injustice rules
Murder of innocence
America’s own Holocaust
Oppression stands tall
Head in the clouds
Justice lays unseen
Mistold pastures green,
An American dream
Wakeup
And you’ll see
A nightmare foreseen.

How to be an American … Middle Class
Faithfull, perhaps blindly
follow the capitalist path of greed Continue reading Poems I wrote as a teen more about Social issues….

Teenage Me

More poems from my teen years:

Goddess

Your soft skin, so pale –
like the sweetest cream
engulfs my senses
(I can almost feel it
upon my finger tips)
Your eyes embrace me
and I nearly shake in your presence:
Goddess, please take me
The melody of your voice
plays the most wanted song
upon my ears.
Hair the color of gold
fire chariots
lines your face so precisely
and rests upon the small of your back.
I smell your essence linger
long after you’ve left my vision
(like Irish Crème and April rain)
forever your impression stays
in the reality of my mind. Continue reading Teenage Me

Poems of a Life Past

I am trying to write the next chapter of My Life in Parts, and it is taking longer than expected as I don’t want to just brush over certain parts. Also, my memory is a little foggy and so I intend to go over it with some people who may be able to fill in missing parts or clarify timelines. In the meantime, I have been looking through notebooks and journals from when I was a teenager. I wrote A LOT of poetry, and wow – some of it was DEPRESSING, some of it beautiful. And so, I am giving my teenage self a voice and posting some of those poems on here. Do not worry about me and think I am depressed, suicidal or using drugs as these poems are all 17 – 20 years old. Maybe some will be helpful to those going through their own struggles, as I am proof that you can overcome.

Demons

The Demons that posses me
are left nameless
in shadows they lurk, Continue reading Poems of a Life Past