My Perfect Man

This isn’t a poem, but being as I have been mostly single for about 8 years, with a few false starts along the way, I thought I would put it out into the world…
  • Super smart – but not arrogant or condescending about it, respects my intelligence and pushes me to grow
  • Gives a shit about the world – votes every year, cares about and has an opinion on what is going on in the world, cares about others’ rights, others’ humanity
  • A great kisser. We have to be physically compatible, he has to be a giver and not just a taker.
  • A nice voice. There is something about some men’s voices that can just send my heart racing, send shivers through my entire body.
  • Strong. Not like bodybuilder strong, but like strong enough that I feel safe when he wraps his arms around me
  • Sees me as his equal. Doesn’t expect that because I’m the woman I’ll do most of the cooking or cleaning
  • Adventurous. He doesn’t have to be an adrenaline junkie, but he definitely needs to be willing to try new things whether it be new foods, travelling to new places, or new activities. No picky eaters please
  • Can both talk and listen. We can have great conversation for hours about life, beliefs, the past, the future, etc. He doesn’t interrupt me regularly (Occasionally is ok, I know I do that sometimes too) and values my opinion, my story, my feelings while feeling comfortable being open about his and knowing that I will value his as well.
  • Comfortable in silence. We can snuggle up on the couch under blankets and both just get lost in our own books for hours. Or go for a 5+ hour car ride and be ok with moments of listening to music without talking and without it feeling awkward.
  • Must like both the city and the country.  If he only feels comfortable in the city or only feels comfortable in the country, we probably won’t work. I want to be able to go to a black-tie event downtown one weekend and go hiking in the woods the next!
  • Gets along with my kids and makes the effort to get to know them, without too much interference – since I’ve made it this far and am not likely to drastically change how I parent this late in the game!
  • Drinks socially. Knows a thing or two about alcohol or wine – but isn’t an alcoholic.
  • Loyal and faithful. He has female friends, but they all know that I exist, he’s excited for me to meet all his friends, family, the important people in his life and he has clear boundaries when in a relationship. He’d never cheat and will stick by my side through the hard stuff.
  • Self-aware. He knows he isn’t perfect, he is aware of his flaws and has either accepted them or is working on improving them if they can be/need to be improved.
  • If he has children, he must take care of them and not just financially. I would prefer someone who doesn’t have children younger than middle school just so that they’re closer to where I am at in life.
  • Non-religious.  Not a deal breaker if he still mostly believes in reality and doesn’t push his faith on others.

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