Stare at profile after profile
Word after word
Stabs at humor, failed attempts to seem woke,
Acronyms I have to google
Pictures with dogs, fish, babies
Pictures perfectly posed in front of cliché travel icons
Lists of the prerequisite things everyone must like;
Travel, wine, food, laughter
Swiping left at any hint of non-monogamy seeking
Poly this or open that
They whiz by my face in a blurry haze
I type out greetings, quick responses to their uninteresting hellos,
Tell just enough about me, but not too much
Nothing to scare them away, nothing to be too vulnerable
What do you do for a living?
What do you do in your spare time?
Do you have kids? Do you like kids? Do you want more kids?
Double-check their profiles
In an attempt to keep them straight;
Was he the one with two brothers or the only child?
Did he work in compliance or IT?
Looks aren’t everything, looks aren’t everything, looks aren’t everything,
OH MY GOD, are these the male versions of me?
I’m not looking for a 10, but I think I’m more than a 3?
Why oh why oh why are hipster beards a thing?
I’m supposed to someday want to kiss that person????
I know, super judgey, but I’m looking for MY partner, right?
I have not seen a single picture of a single person who I can picture holding hands with
Who I can see myself laughing with, dancing with, staying up all night talking to
I’m doing this song and dance
I’m being open, right?
This is what I’m supposed to do
I’m supposed to date, I’m supposed to search,
I’m supposed to move on and get over you – right?
But its mind-numbing
Its time wasting
None of them will ever morph into you…