In the Closet

There are things you’ve destroyed you’re not even aware of
And you’ll never know, I’ll never have the chance to tell you.
Even if we speak again, your voice will melt me . . . as it always does.
I’ll never tell you the million little ways you’ve broken me.
I will smile and laugh and feel so lucky to be in your presence again,
Why ruin that?

So, here’s my chance to lay it all bare:

Do you recall what I was wearing on that most perfect of nights,
the night I foolishly thought that you and I finally had a chance?
It was a perfect dress, hugged my bosom while hiding my insecurities,
Black with bursts of red flowers, soft against my skin.
It’s hung in my closet ever since; you destroyed my favorite dress –
Can’t put it on without remembering you taking it off

The place we ate that night, the perfect ambiance, the bustle of the kitchen, each dish that came out more delicious than the last…
I can never eat there again, though my mouth still waters for those flavors

And that hotel room with the giant bathroom and the shower, oh, the shower…
I love hotel rooms, we first made love in a hotel room so, so long ago;
not sure I can ever step inside one again without being sad that you’re not beside me

Flowers…you were the first man to send me flowers;
I still remember that they were the beautiful color of a sunset
Every bouquet I’ve received since has paled in comparison.

So many places, so many tastes, sounds and smells
They’re forever altered, forever not as good without you to share them with.

I’ve hoped and dreamed, mostly about love, my entire life.
The vision of my ideal mate has always morphed into your face,
but no matter how hard, how deeply, I’ve loved you – you’ve never stayed                        I’ve never been enough, what we have has never been enough for you…

So, along with my favorite dress, a wine that tastes like dirty feet, delicious food, and a million shattered pieces of my heart – I’m putting the hope of love away in a closet.
I’m locking up my heart and throwing away the key…

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