My heart has crystalized
it has been so broken, so fractured, so irreparably harmed
it has been fused back together with ice and cement,
hard and cold substances have mended it
have covered it in a layer of protection;
Your smile only melts some of the ice.
I can feel the burn of love from within again
but cannot fully let go, my heart is too damaged
I cannot wholly melt into you like I always do
cannot completely let go
my heart has too many layers protecting it
to let you in again without reservation.
I don’t want to live with a damaged heart
I don’t want its cracks covered in cement
I want it to breathe freely
I want to be able to relax into your arms and surrender….
but how can I possibly do that?
How can I when you cannot even promise to be gentle with it?