Speechless

I want to wrap my arms around you

I want to give comfort and hope

I typically use words to inspire and console

to uplift and show unity,

today my words are failing me

Behind tears and anger

I’m grasping for what to say.

But….I know there are no words to fix this:

“be safe” – that isn’t always in your control

“it will all be ok” no, no it won’t

“things will get better”  how? when?

“I understand” I couldn’t even begin to.

I mourn with you, I cry with you,

I scream in outrage with you,

I shake my head in disbelief

I fear for those I love with more melanin than I,

but I cannot truly understand,

I can never know what it is like to live in that beautiful skin

and have it used as an excuse for others to fear and kill you.

I can never know what it is like to not have the option to shut it off

to crawl into bed and not think about it

My words, my tears, my outrage are all worthless

until we, white people, learn to listen more than we speak

until we collectively figure out what to do to change this corrupt and oppressive system.

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