As I Lay Here…

As I lay here contemplating the past few months
my mind wants to sort through and organize all the steps
but I can’t sort it all out into a neat timeline just yet.
All I know is I met a man who seemed talented and sweet
I had no real intentions at first,
beyond that we may someday meet.
Now, inexplicably, he’s become woven
into the fabric of my life.
How did I go from a Myspace friend
to longing to someday be his wife?

I enjoy every moment of the here and now
learning every inch of him, exposing myself to his curious eyes
trying to be open and honest, avoiding lies.
Each day our love seems to blossom more,
just when we think it’s reached maximum depth
we find something new to love, to explore.

I also keep one eye on the future, as we all do.
When life shakes us and tests us with all its fiery
will what we’re building now make it through?
Or an even worse proposition –
will all the time and days between now and eternity
lead to complacency where our love becomes stale?
Will small injustices we commit against each other
build up through all the years, leading to resentment?

I cannot fathom feeling anything but love and respect for this man
I hope we put in all our efforts to build something not only lasting,
but something that feeds our souls’ hunger
and builds each other up in glory and joy.
Because I don’t want forever, if forever leads to misery!

But now I shall bring my mind back to the here and now
no use fussing over things that have yet to come,
we’ll figure all that out when it crosses our path


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