Off My Chest

I have some things I simply need to get off my chest before I move on. One is a poem and one is ramblings about the idiotic things people say when they’re newly in lust.

Ok, I will admit, I am MUCH more cynical about this whole love business than I ever used to be. Yes, I know that people do have feelings of love for one another that are very strong, very real, very deep. I know that loving another person can change who you are because it has happened to me, I am forever altered because of having loved those whom I have (and still do) love. However, beginning phases of love are so annoying sometimes to witness, especially when people bounce from being in love with one person to being in love with another person as easily as I dye my hair. Following are some of the phrases people spit out when they first fall in love that I currently find annoying and why. Also, it isn’t a phrase, but why when some people “fall in love” do they change every aspect of who they are? They stop hanging out with all of their friends and suddenly only hang out with their significant others’ friends, or they become this completely different/fake person who seems to always be “on” – do you really want to be with someone who only loves you for the best representation of yourself you put forward and how long can you keep up with that false persona?

“What we have is rare”   No it isn’t, people are blinded by lust every day. People “fall in love” every day. If they didn’t weddings wouldn’t be such a huge business! What is rare is having a meaningful, intimate relationship that lasts through all of life’s hurdles….talk to me in 20 years about the rarity of your relationship, if you even remember it.

“I hope someday you find what we have.” Well, I do not. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t know and want all of me, I don’t want to be with someone if I have to hide who I was prior to their meeting me. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who would sabotage relationships I had with people who I say meant a lot to me because of their own insecurity. When I love, I love deeply and unending, my love isn’t something that I can hide, it isn’t something that I can move on from in a matter of a few months, it is something that becomes a part of the very fabric of who I am and I do not want to settle for a love that is any less than that, even if it means I never love again.

“God brought us together.” SO many things I could say about this one! Of course, anyone who knows me knows that I think man created the concept of god and gods to answer questions we did not know the answers to, and that as we gain in knowledge as a people, we will see more and more how unrealistic and unnecessary this god concept is. However, let us hypothetically say that your god is real. So, your god is cupid now? He cares about YOU finding “love” again because in the grand scheme of things in the universe – that is SO important? This is almost as ridiculous as thinking this big daddy in the sky helps you find your lost car keys or get a new job, while letting others endure unthinkable horrors on a daily basis. Wow, your ego is not flattering.

Similarly “everything in life has happened for a reason so we could be together.” Well, I suppose there is a morsel of truth to this – there are numerous things that if they had happened differently, you two would not have met. If that last person hadn’t cheated on you or left you, if the person you are now with hadn’t moved to the new town or taken the new job, you’d have never met. But I am also sure that a lot of things have happened in both of your lives that had no meaning or purpose, that were not good, that did not happen simply so you two love birds would eventually be together.

“We are soul mates.” Well, we don’t have souls, so onto the next one.

“I trust her/him completely” Some people say that they trust someone until they give them a reason not to. Others say trust is earned. I suppose you cannot have a meaningful relationship if there is no trust, however, I think there should always be a certain level of getting to know someone before you trust them COMPLETELY, and especially before you trust and believe in them above people you’ve known for years. But hey, that’s just me.

 

Goodbye to a lost friend….

my initial impression of you coalesces with the man you seem to be today,

in so many ways,

too bad that man hid for far too many years, under anguish and hurt

so sad that he put up walls and acted in such unhealthy ways

now that you have begun to heal, now that you have re-imagined yourself,

and the man I once hoped you were seems to have surfaced,

he has surfaced too late, he has surfaced after years of hiding

and now wants to hide the man I knew for so long,

wants to forget, wipe away the years of stumbling, mistakes,

he has to pretend that he never let himself behave that way,

he needs to pretend he was never my flawed best friend,

in order to do so he has to push me completely out of his life, and I must let him.

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2 thoughts on “Off My Chest”

    1. Thank you. Yes, sometimes I hold on longer than I should to friendships and relationships, because I want to see the best in people but I am learning that if they do not add to my life it is time to let go.

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