Online Dating, Maybe…Maybe Not

So, I started online dating. I’ve dabbled in it here and there before, but initially I was trying to push myself to start dating after my last breakup WAY before I was ready to. Also, it can be a bit overwhelming. I have never understood how people could carry on affairs outside of a monogamous relationship or marriage or how they could just date multiple people at once even if they were open about it – the mental juggling involved is too much for me. I found online dating to be a bit like what I imagine that would be like. You’re giving a little piece of yourself to multiple people all at the same time, instead of focusing on one person and giving them all of that energy, which is what I ultimately prefer.

Keeping track of who said they had kids, who said they didn’t, which one answered that question in a way that put up a red flag, did I already tell him about that little quirk? If I could access the site at work, I think it would be good to print off each guy’s profile – so I don’t look like a stalker going back into them each time we chat in order to remember what it was about their profile I liked or didn’t like. But, being as I can only go on my phone or a tablet, because I don’t have an actual working computer at home, that’s not an option. The other thing is, people want your telephone number after 2 extremely brief exchanges, really? I know NOTHING about you, but you expect me to hand over my telephone number so you can stalk me if I decide I don’t want to talk to you anymore? Or they want to meet in person and expect you to come running/be so flattered that they want to meet you without you two knowing ANYTHING about each other. The best is when I don’t answer a message within 10 minutes of them sending it, they’re like “Hello?” and a minute later “???” Sorry, I’m cooking dinner, went to a movie, am reading a book, having a conversation with my kids or a friend, am at WORK…or a million other things besides staring at a screen to see if I got any messages yet from someone who is 99.9% likely NOT the love of my life.

However, as I hear story after story of people who met online, fell in love, and are married now – I hold out a small, flickering, light of hope. Hope that, although it isn’t the way it has ever happened before, that maybe just maybe it will be how I meet someone who will give me butterflies in the pit of my stomach, someone who I can stay up all night long talking to on the phone, someone who gets me and whom I get in a way that just doesn’t happen with everyone we meet. Maybe, since I haven’t ran into my next great love at the grocery store, at a concert, through my circle of friends, at a political event, or out walking his dog in my neighborhood – maybe online is where he has been hiding

In the meantime, to save my sanity, I may occasionally post about the adventure here. I won’t use anybody’s real name, they didn’t ask to be put in my blog by sending me an online message. Here is a glimpse of some of the messages I’ve gotten so far that have made me roll my eyes or chuckle in annoyance.

He sent me a message saying I was beautiful and could he get to know me better, I said maybe we should start with names and he replied: “My name is Romeo, your soon to be everything.”

This one he actually seems cool, just not real smooth as the rest of his message was about what all we had in common – but I was just taken aback that somebody would start out a first message with something so negative: “Wow, those are some of the worst quality pictures I have ever seen.”

And this one, a guy who lives in another state but is just coming to MN to visit and apparently looking for somebody to “hook-up” with while he’s here. “ I will be in St. Paul Feb. 4th. Would you like to hook-up while I am in town?” Ummm…no thanks!


It is early, I’m sure there will be many more gems to come.


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