Things I Miss

More than your touch, more than the warmth of your skin, your mouth that molds so perfectly to mine, there are other things I miss.

I miss conversations that lasted throughout the night, I  miss losing sleep because we couldn’t hang up the phone, I miss hearing you breath on the other end.

I miss all of your little quirks that became the norm to me, I miss finding your little curly q’s in the most random of places, I miss being startled awake in the middle of the night and then worriedly listening to you fall back asleep.

I miss putting your daughter to sleep, I miss my daughters begging me to give them a baby brother with you, I miss my oldest hyphenating her last name with yours, I miss the hope that we’d all become a family.

I miss mushy love cards and stuffed animals, I miss promises that we’d never love another this hard, I miss someone who I could cry in front of, who could make all the problems of the world seem bearable,  I miss you completely opening up to me.

I miss not always having to be the strong and confident one, I miss having you to lean on, to reassure me, to be strong enough for the both of us when I was at my weakest

I miss your HUGE family, the good food, the chaos of different personalities held together by the unifying force of love, I miss the anticipation of one day being able to truly call them all my family.

I miss the long drives that went by in the blink of an eye, I miss being by your side as you grew in your craft and conquered the world, I miss seeing you on stage and knowing that no matter how many girls were in awe of you, you were going home with me.

I even miss our arguments, how we fought to better understand each other, how frustrating it was when I felt misunderstood, how no matter what I did or said you never ever showed the slightest sign of disrespect.

I miss learning from you, growing with you, loving and being loved by you. I miss the security of knowing you were always by my side.

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