Trying to understand other people’s relationships,
their motivations, why they stay, why they settle,
why they are with one person when their eyes are all over another.
Why they physically stay with someone, while being emotionally checked out –
Is it for career, status, comfort,
not even knowing they’re capable of having more?
“she didn’t do anything wrong” to warrant leaving he’ll say
They walk robotically from one stage to the next;
hanging out long enough – she might as well be my girlfriend,
girlfriend long enough, we might as well live together,
living together for a year or more – I guess it’s time to commit, to wife her.
Then, if you have kids, it’s all over
he falls in love with them, even if he never was with her
will never leave, never rock that foundation –
unless she wakes up someday,
has the spark ignited by someone else,
realizes she’s been without love and passion this whole time
and walks away.
I know some who say
“I don’t want to hurt her”
Do you think you’re as good as she can get?
You think she doesn’t deserve more, to be cherished
and desired and deeply and passionately loved?
What are you protecting her from?
Don’t know if I feel pity or just confusion,
wonder how one half of the coupling can seem so in love
and the other half so empty –
how does the in-love half not see it?
Does she see love in his eyes when she looks,
that no one else can see?
Does he show her affections in private,
that he acts to the outside world not to have?
Maybe I am picky…
maybe I don’t want to settle for mediocre,
for moving to the next stages just because
for being with someone because he looks good on paper –
I want him to take my breath away,
to look at me like I’m the only one he’s ever loved, ever going to love
want to wake up with and fall asleep with him in my head,
want to make love like our lives depend on it.
I want to fight to save us, not to break us apart,
want to shine our love out into the world,
not hide it behind closed doors
Don’t want anyone to look upon us and say
“are they even together” “are they in love” “why are they together”
want it to be so obvious others look and say
“THAT is the kind of love I want!”