Confessions

I am busy. I work two jobs, raising two daughters, on a committee that meets monthly, sometimes have kids’ sports or other commitments. I may not like it, but my life requires planning. If it isn’t in my Google calendar and has a reminder set, it isn’t going to happen. I don’t see people I deeply care about nearly as much as I would like, I don’t have time for pedicures and manicures, one of my best friends lives 5 minutes from me and its been months since we’ve spent time together. Where am I going with all this? If you say “Let’s hang out” or “we should hang out sometime” that isn’t really going to get you far. And then when I even specifically say “Ok, when? where?” and you don’t respond, don’t turn around and accuse me of blowing you off! If I am someone you really want to get to know better or already know and want to spend more time with, I am sorry, but it’s going to require more effort than a casual and open-ended “we should chill sometime.”  You brought it up – plan something. Pick a place, date, time and if I’m free it will happen.  There isn’t a place on my schedule for “someday, somewhere, sometime.”

Also related to this, I don’t really have time to date right now. As much as I want to find a partner. As much as I would love to be kissed and dance and enjoy long conversations into the night and be embraced and share stories and seek out new adventures together and fall in love and plan a future – I just don’t have time. And the precious time that I do have, I would rather spend snuggled up watching a movie, making dinner, going for a walk, painting, listening to silly stories, laughing, and dancing with my daughters! Not meeting for drinks with someone who doesn’t seem that interesting anyways.

Yes, I can be judgmental. I think a lot of people are dumb and not because they were born with a low ability to learn but because they willfully choose not to seek knowledge, expand their minds, find out about this world they live in and/or they choose to listen to Fox News. No, I’m not being sarcastic. I really, truly believe that if you think Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, Bill O’Reilly, Ted Cruz, Karl Rove, Sean Hannity or any of their ilk are amazing people who give a sh*t about average Americans, that you are a complete and utter moron and I don’t know why you’re reading my blog!

I have been told several times that I am funny – but I really don’t recall a single time in my entire life that I have tried to be funny. I’m just not a comedic person.

I have taken the Harvard test that tests to see if you have any hidden biases. You can take it to test all sorts of biases, and for the most part I didn’t have any. The one I did have a bias in was the racial one, but I had non-typical results; I have a bias in favor of darker skinned people/against white people?! Not sure how this came about or if I want to get into a big psychoanalysis of it, but basically it shows that I have an easier time equating goodness with dark skinned people than I do equating goodness with white people.  Considering that I’m white and that it said only 4% of people have this bias I found the results interesting. I can admit that, in general, middle age white guys kind of creep me out – and so do white guys with hair long enough to put in a pony tail (especially if it is in a ponytail), but at least I know the reasoning behind that prejudice. Oh, and I just took one on religion. That one graphed how favorable or unfavorable you view four major religions. Mine were all in the middle or a little below/towards the negative. Islam was the most favorable, then Judaism and Hinduism were about tied and Christianity was most negative. You can take them here: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/

If I ever cheat and eat a piece of chocolate, I never log it under my food journal on LoseIt! because I don’t want anyone else I’m sharing with on that App to see my chocolate obsession!!!!

I really, REALLY don’t like my cat and it will be a joyous day when I no longer have to clean another litter box or try to get all the hair off of another pillow or jacket ever again! I am not a cat person and will never EVER have one as a pet again! I just don’t get why anyone likes them; they smell, they’re hairy, they get hair all over the place, they get old and start going to the bathroom where they shouldn’t, they’re not a lot of fun, they can’t go for long walks or play catch or be trained to do anything amusing or trained not to do anything annoying (I don’t know how many times I have kicked my cat off my bed yet he still comes on it over and over and over again for YEARS). 

I LOVE quizzes, tests, assessments. Jennifer – would you like to find out what animal you have the most in common with? Why, YES, yes I would! I like personality tests, where do you lie on the political spectrum tests, and I have taken dozens of IQ tests throughout the years! You would think after taking so many I’d figure out how to do better and my IQ would be like 200 by now, but I think the highest its ever tested at was in the 140’s.  Oh, and does anyone remember when there was that show on TV and you could follow along and it “tested America’s IQ.” I loved that show even though I was a little shocked by the “average” American IQ and wondered if that was similar to what other research showed. 

I love being a mom! But there are certain qualities one probably thinks of when they think of a great mom that I just don’t have. I suck at being consistent and discipline. I also am not going to win any awards for housekeeping – I just hate cleaning! My house mostly looks like it was furnished by a college kid with no money who just hit up some local garage sales. I would like to have a nice house, tidy, matching furniture, art work on the walls, soft, luxurious bedding – I just don’t. Furniture is expensive. Nice bedding is expensive. When I have extra money, I plan a trip! When I have a free Sunday I want to go out and do something, not stay in the house organizing closets, polishing floors, making sure the girls’ room is tidy and their summer clothes packed away. Yes, they still have shorts and swimsuits that keep making their way into the dirty clothes even though we haven’t been wearing shorts or swimsuits for a while!

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