A few things that I’ve read lately about how dads influence their daughters has scared the crap out of me and I hope that they are NOT true!!! Any advice on anything else I can do to ensure they do NOT become true would be greatly appreciated! The idea that my daughters will think less of themselves or will date losers/men who treat them like they’re unimportant because of their dad terrifies me!!! Thus far I have; tried to be as open and honest with my girls as possible, we have very deep conversations and they can talk to me about anything, I have not had various men in/out of their lives (they have NOT had 100 different “daddies” like some children of single moms I know), I really think the men who they have had in their lives have been good men who they see as being great dads and the only long-term relationship that I have had and that they have been around ended with us still being friends and him still being a very important person to the girls.
Advice from an online article “Daughters Need Dads, Too”
If there is a father (or a male in her life who takes a father role), that man becomes her guidepost for what to expect of men and what to expect of men’s attitude toward women. His relationship to her mother or his significant other is her template for what her relationship with a man will be when she grows up.”
What all this means for a father or father figure is that he counts. He counts a lot. Regardless of whether he wants the responsibility, a father’s relationship to the world and to women sets down a template that will be played out for another generation.
Treat all adult women the way you want your daughter to be treated someday. Take care with what you say about women you work with, the women in your family, and even the woman driving the car in the next lane. Don’t indulge in mother-in-law or other sexist jokes. Your daughter is listening. Your attitude about women is part of the attitude she is developing about herself.
Treat her the way you want her future partner to treat her. The way you interact with your daughter is what she becomes used to when relating to a man. Treat her with respect, dignity, caring, and affection and she will expect to be treated that way by a mate.
Be the kind of man you want your daughter to marry. Make no mistake; you are the model for manhood your daughter is likely to look for when she starts to date. If you want her to find a man who is faithful to his partner, who is honest and hardworking, who knows how to have fun, who uses money wisely and who doesn’t abuse people, drugs, or alcohol, then you need to be that kind of man.
I want my daughters to focus all of their energy on creating the lives that they want for themselves. On finding their own strengths and talents and building on those. On exploring the world in which they live and figuring out their place in it. I don’t want them to waste ANY of their energy on people who don’t contribute to their life, and I hope if I encourage and support them in all of these things, then their dad’s absence won’t have too much of an influence in the grand scheme of things!!!
- Daddies, It’s OK to Miss Your Little Girls (oldspouse.wordpress.com)