Why I Didn’t Report (trigger warning)

These past few weeks have been hard for a lot of survivors of sexual assault. I’m one of those but have been reluctant to be as open about my stories as other people have. Our stories often define us in ways we don’t know or ways we don’t want to admit. For me it has led to years of not owning my own sexuality, not being confident, and being retraumatized in many ways due to too often being scared to say no, or saying no initially, but being talked into or coerced into saying yes, leading to lots of post-sex regrets. There are experiences where the line is murky, so I’m only listing times where the line is very clear. Here are the times I was sexually assaulted and #WhyIDidntReport Continue reading Why I Didn’t Report (trigger warning)

My Perfect Man

This isn’t a poem, but being as I have been mostly single for about 8 years, with a few false starts along the way, I thought I would put it out into the world…
  • Super smart – but not arrogant or condescending about it, respects my intelligence and pushes me to grow
  • Gives a shit about the world – votes every year, cares about and has an opinion on what is going on in the world, cares about others’ rights, others’ humanity
  • A great kisser. We have to be physically compatible, he has to be a giver and not just a taker.
  • A nice voice. There is something about some men’s voices that can just send my heart racing, send shivers through my entire body.
  • Strong. Not like bodybuilder strong, but like strong enough that I feel safe when he wraps his arms around me Continue reading My Perfect Man

What Now?

“Work hard enough and you can accomplish anything”

“The only one standing in the way of your dreams is you”


These are the narratives we hear every day,

That nothing we want is out of our hands

That all we must do is work hard –

But what if your definition of success isn’t material? Continue reading What Now?

Why the F*&CK am I Dating?

Stare at profile after profile

Word after word

Stabs at humor, failed attempts to seem woke,

Acronyms I have to google

Pictures with dogs, fish, babies

Pictures perfectly posed in front of cliché travel icons

Lists of the prerequisite things everyone must like;

Continue reading Why the F*&CK am I Dating?

The musings of a 30-something, urban, single mother

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