I need to have a bedside lamp and notepad next to my bed! It seems when I am half-asleep/half-conscious I have these amazing ideas for things I should write about, yet when I wake up all I can remember is that I HAD an amazing idea and not exactly what that idea was. I remember that I had one of those a few nights ago, that I kept churning it over and adding to it in my head. I also remember foolishly thinking “I’ll write this all down when I wake up.” The substance of that “great idea”? No clue!
People don’t understand love
who think it has limitations, time limits or an inevitable end.
People don’t understand love who can switch it on and off dependent upon their mood,
who can go from proclaiming their love for one to another in a flicker of time.
Love is boundless, infinite, unending
It doesn’t get switched off due to circumstances, distance
doesn’t fade away with the passing of time
Real love exists forever
I went to an event at my daughter’s school last night. It is a program called CPEO, which stands for Connecting Parents to Educational Opportunities. It is a seven week series where we’ll be given tons of information on supporting our kids through Middle School and into High School, helping to get them “College Ready.” I think it will be informative for me, as I never graduated from High School so I never went through the graduation process, the applying for colleges, touring colleges, taking ACTs and SATs and all that that entails – I want to make sure I know as much about it as possible to help my girls through the process. To support them, to engage with their teachers and to advocate for them if necessary. Continue reading
How is it possible that I have written in you so infrequently as of late?
Why are so many of your pages blindingly empty?
Have I been sucked into the digital age, further than I would care to admit?
How am I no longer drawn regularly to your hard red cover,
your crisp, beige pages – smooth under my hand – Continue reading
Where is the Balance? Living your life to the fullest, while putting your kids’ wellbeing first….
I love an inspirational story! Who doesn’t? A story of determination. overcoming, reaching for your dreams, living each day as if its your last, true love conquering all, long-lost loves reunited, and so on. I believe that this is the one and only life we have and that we need to live it to the fullest. I want to be reminded of that, to be pulled out of the mundane and reminded to reach for my dreams. Continue reading
I miss being in your presence,
how comfortable your embrace is,
the sound of your voice -
soothing, reassuring and sexy all at once.
I miss your strength, your calm,your charm.
I miss the feel of your touch
from the reassuring hand on my leg in the car
to the sweet touch on my back that lingers long after we kiss goodbye.
I miss the excited feeling everytime I prepared to see you -
the prospect of seeing you always left me giddy
never became dull or routine.
I miss your scent, your laugh, your eyes,
I know I never had you ALL the way,
and someone else does now,
someone else gets those day-to-day moments
the glimpses into your imperfections,
you with your guard down, flaws unhidden.
Someone else has all of you,
minus the tiny part of your heart I once held.
I miss something that was never truly mine
I miss the parts of you I knew and cherished,
the only pieces you ever allowed me to see
I miss someone I never truly had, not completely,
not without reservations or parts of himself blocked off.
I miss you – but it is time to move on
to let go of the longing
for someone I never truly had anyways.
I was so fortunate to have both of my daughters make it to full term strong and healthy! I know the odds are not stacked in our favor, as my second pregnancy ended in a very unexpected and sad miscarriage. So many go from the high of finding out they’re expecting to the low of a miscarriage, but then once we get beyond those precarious first few months, it’s not a home run for everyone either!
I have friends who struggled with all of their pregnancies and none of their four children were born full-term. I remember when my cousin stopped by the house several years ago on Christmas Eve, on his and his wife’s way home from the hospital – their little bundle of joy finally ready to come home after weeks in the NICU. Just last year a young couple I know had their first son, Liam, who is now a healthy, happy one-year old; but I cannot imagine the fear they went through going to the hospital, knowing something was wrong, knowing it was dangerously early, seeing their little boy sooooo tiny and fragile.
These stories and many more are why I walk in support of March of Dimes/March for Babies. They do such amazing work in support and research. I know the entire process of reproduction is a complicated one and that nowhere in nature is it 100% successful, but if they can help more families through the process or prevent more families from the tragic loss of a baby – that’s an amazing thing!
Please consider giving your support: March for Babies – View Personal Page For poeticsinglemama http://www.marchforbabies.org/poeticsinglemama
I was going to write about this in poetic form, but it wasn’t sounding quite right, was sounding like I was trying to oversimplify or be dismissive. Addiction is something I understand personally, but not in the grander scheme of things. I get how it affected me. I get how it still affects me as I am still addicted to nicotine. What I have never gotten or fit in with is the whole recovery culture, the Alcoholics Anonymous/Narcotics Anonymous structure. I don’t get the entire philosophy that says “I have no power” and how that helps people. How does saying that you are powerless help you recover? For me – I want to claim my own power; my power as a human, as a woman, as a mother. I want to own it, to stand firm in it, to grow confident in it. I don’t want to hand that power over to anyone else or try to say I don’t have any – that seems so foreign to me. And yes, I’ll piss a lot of people off saying this, but that just sounds weak. It sounds like you’re holding on to a good excuse for if you do screw up, like then we can just blame some force outside of ourselves for our own decisions. I also strongly disagree with the term “recovering” that says that every single person on the planet who has ever been an addict will ALWAYS be an addict, that you can’t ever be RECOVERED. Continue reading
I’ve never much cared for the term “falling in love.” It makes it sound too much like an accident, like something we have absolutely no control over. Like, “oops, I tripped and fell in love.” It even more so disturbs me to hear people say things like “you can’t help who you fall in love with” as if the cosmos, destiny or some other magical force has control over your emotions! This is especially bothersome when someone uses it as an excuse for falling in love with someone when they are already in a committed relationship with or married to someone else. You didn’t just walk into work, the gym, the bar, etc., trip, and fall in love with someone. Falling in love is a process and it starts with you being open to it. If you are truly committed to the person you are with, you choose every day to keep loving them regardless of their flaws, your disagreements, struggles or anything else. Unless you have stopped doing that, unless you have opened yourself up to someone else in a way you shouldn’t, you can’t stumble upon someone else and accidentally fall in love with them.
This is the same reason I despise the term falling out of love. For one, using the above analogy of tripping and falling, it is kind of hard to trip and fall up and out of someplace. But, more seriously, love isn’t some whimsical accident. It isn’t something we have no control over. Love is intentional. It is a choice. It takes effort, commitment, perseverance. If you ever truly loved someone, if you ever even knew what love was then you don’t just stop when things get hard. And, if you do, it’s because you chose to!
This article is really good! Marriage isn’t just about love and butterflies, it’s about the day to day things, about making it through the hard times, building a life together. This is the kind of love and marriage I want, where you make a decision every day to not give up on each other! http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4661093?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009