Why Are People in EMPTY Relationships????


Trying to understand other people’s relationships,
their motivations, why they stay, why they settle,
why they are with one person when their eyes are all over another.
Why they physically stay with someone, while being emotionally checked out –

Is it for career, status, comfort,
not even knowing they’re capable of having more?
“she didn’t do anything wrong” to warrant leaving he’ll say
They walk robotically from one stage to the next;
hanging out long enough – she might as well be my girlfriend,
girlfriend long enough, we might as well live together,
living together for a year or more – I guess it’s time to commit, to wife her.

Then, if you have kids, it’s all over
he falls in love with them, even if he never was with her
will never leave, never rock that foundation –
unless she wakes up someday,
has the spark ignited by someone else,
realizes she’s been without love and passion this whole time
and walks away.

I know some who say
“I don’t want to hurt her”
Do you think you’re as good as she can get?
You think she doesn’t deserve more, to be cherished
and desired and deeply and passionately loved?
What are you protecting her from? Read the rest of this entry

List Your Self! Do Lists Help?


Does anyone have this book “List Your Self: Listmaking as the Way to Self-Discovery”?  or any similar books?  Do you find that answering questions in random list form helps you?  I write lists in my journal all the time; places I want to visit, places I already have visited, movies I want to see, books I’ve read, books I want to read, places I’d like to move, jobs that sound fun. When I was younger I would write lists of baby names, now that my oldest is about to enter college I find myself writing lists of colleges, majors I think would be fun for her, I bought a book full of lists of things she should do for each grade in High School to prepare for College. 

I have always liked self-tests, quizzes, journaling. But this idea of making lists of random things for self-discovery, I’m not so sure of. When I make the above lists, they don’t just sit there – I scour the internet for more information, add books to my reading list, add movies to my Netflix list, request information from travel agencies, colleges, etc.  What am I supposed to do with a list such as “List the Ways the Full Moon Affects Your Behavior” or “List the Names of All your Past Bosses.” The first one, I don’t believe the Full Moon affects my behavior at all – so that will stay blank. The second one, I don’t remember any of my boss’s names prior to the job I have now and the one I had prior – so I guess that would be a good exercise in trying to dig into my memory?

Some lists I’ll never fill in because they are not applicable to my life. Some I would like to fill-in, and it is rather depressing that I can’t. “List all the things that always make you laugh.”  My kids. That’s it, that is all I can think of!  “List What Consistently Worries you Each Day” Well – that one is easy and most of it revolves around money or how I am raising my kids!  “List Your Sunday Rituals” I don’t have rituals. But then there are the ones that maybe I should sit down with, ponder, and really put some effort into such as “List all the actvities you’d do if you weren’t so afraid” or “List all the Qualities you love about being human.”  “List all the things you just don’t want to think about.” Well, if I don’t want to think about them, don’t I have to think about them to list them and maybe I just don’t wanna?!  There is a whole section devoted to things such as your higher power, prayer, soul, spirit, miracles, blah, blah, blah that I’ll maybe use as scratch paper for more important “Greater Truths.”  Oh – and my favorite – “List all the things you can prove are true.”  You really think this one piece of paper is big enough to list every provable fact in the world?????


So – have at it! What are your experiences with this book in particular or with lists in General?

Did a cow just moo?


Saw several for-sale signs on our way to my friend’s house yesterday afternoon. None seemed to be attached to a house, they all seemed to be selling random plots of land. Farmers in need of money? People downsizing?   I drove right by this unassuming house and had to meander past an icy lake, several twists and turns looking for a place to turn around.
A driveway? A real road that had actually been plowed? Seeing none of these, I eventually braved a turnaround once there were no longer deep ravines on both sides of the windy road. Read the rest of this entry